


Chapter 2 : A PLACE WHERE I BELONG - Part 1

by Myril_Chan



Series: BEFORE DAO [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Childhood, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:34:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26696809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Myril_Chan/pseuds/Myril_Chan
Summary: The warden reveals an unexpected talent. Alistair meets his true father and brother for the 1st timeThe idea behind my Before:DAO series is to tell my Mahariel and Alistair's parallel childhoods. I took inspiration from the real lore to make it as realistic and lore-friendly as possible. All my inspirations and sources are mentionned in the end.This serie is part of my whole fanfic which aims to tell the story of Alistair & warden from their childhood to DAI and maybe further...Comment & (constructive) critics are highly welcome to help me improve my writting.If you have a fanfic on the same themes : please let me know !
Relationships: Alistair/Female Warden (Dragon Age)
Series: BEFORE DAO [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1942735
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

**9:18 DRAGON**

"Ymlaïs ! Ymlaïs ! Damn it, where did she go again ? YMLAÏS !"

\- Sshhh ! I'm right here Ashalle - whispered the little girl - behind the old oak tree. Don't scream like that, you'll scare him ! 

\- Him ? Him who ? "  
  
---  
|   
  
Ashalle went around the tree and approached slowly. A mass of red hair was drawn behind the huge trunk. It belonged to a eight years old little girl who was crouching down, leaning over... A fox. Ashalle spread a little cry of surprise.

"Sssh ! Stop making noise, you’re scaring him!" The fox looked at Ashalle with anguish and tried in vain to get back on his paws, probably to escape. "He wouldn’t get very far with his broken leg, but... that’s no reason.." 

Looking at it, one of the animal's legs was covered with an elfroot's poultice. The little girl began to caress the beast gently behind the ears and whispered reassuring words to him. " _Dareth, Falon. Tel'Enfanim. Atisha, Atisha_ *. It’s Ashalle, don’t be afraid, she’s nice." 

Surprisingly the fox seemed indeed to calm down even if its latent fear remained tangible.

" You... You're the one who healed it ? 

\- Yes."

Ashalle looked skeptical : "You know how to make elfroot poultices now ?

\- I... No. I took it at the camp - answered the girl in the small voice, avoiding the adult’s gaze.

\- You "took it"? - now Ashalle’s gaze was frankly stern and her voice betrayed a growing suspicion - From where? From _who_? 

\- I took it in the keeper's tent. " Answered the girl in an almost inaudible voice. 

Ashalle looked up to heaven and sighed deeply. 

" You stole a healing poultice in the keeper's tent in order to heal ... A fox ? 

\- Yes. I know it's wrong, but he needed me !" 

Ashalle could not believe what she was hearing. Ymlaïs had always been a "surprising" girl. But she would have been fine without _that_ kind of surprises. 

" He could have hurt you ! Bite you ! An animal in danger can become dangerous !

\- No ! Not him ! The bear in the cave to the west is. She doesn't like people to approach because she had babies last moon. And the wolves never want to play because our hunters chase them for their furs. But he is different. He is not scared about me." 

Ashalle had become pale, and his eyes were amazed. 

\- A bear ! Wolves ! So this is what you do when you disappear in the forest ? You try to _play_ with wild and fierce animals ? 

\- I told you, not the fierce ones ! They tell me not to approach. 

\- Oh ! And they let you go nicely, right ? Wait ! They "tell" you ? Do you think they _talk_ to you ? 

\- No, not really. But I understand them anyway. 

\- How ?

\- I look at them. Their bodies speak and, I can feel how they feel. I don't know how to explain it. I just know." 

Ashalle took a while to assimilate the girl’s words. She had certainly always liked animals, but this...

" Ymlaïs... We have to talk to the keeper. 

\- Ah..... Now ? asked the girl with a worried look.

\- Yes, now." 

Ymlaïs’s hand was still leaning on the fox, who wasn't moving despite the anxious looks he threw at Ashalle. 

" Can I take him to the camp ? 

\- Of course not ! His place is not with us !

\- Oh please ! Just until his wound heals. He’ll be in danger if I leave him here alone!" 

Ashalle squatted up to the little girl and told her in a softer voice: "He will be afraid among us. His place is in the forest. Oh no, don’t cry !" 

Ashalle could not bear to see those big blue-gray eyes embedding tears. But the little girl never abused them. His concern was sincere. Ashalle surrendered.

"All right, we’ll ask the keeper to take care of your fox, okay ?" 

Ymlaïs wiped his eyes. 

" He's not mine. You think the keeper won’t be too mad at me ?

\- I don't know. But you'll have to face the consequences of your acts, Da'len. Now come on." 

The little girl put her hand on the fox’s head. " _Ir abelas_ **. I'll be back". Before following her tutor through the forest. 

* - "You're safe friend. Don't be scared. Peace, Peace".

** "I'm Sorry"

\---

"Alistair ! Alistair ! Damn it, where did he go again ! ALISTAIR !"

The young boy was sitting on the kitchen table and devoured a slice of cheese placed on a hot peace of bread with a visible appetite. He spoke to the cook with a mouthful. "It's Lady Isolde. I have to go".

The cook turned to him with a smirk.

" Finish your cheese. She can wait two minutes, though. You haven’t eaten anything since yesterday, I suppose ? 

\- But I’ll be punished if I don’t go. 

\- Punished ? She should rather be worried sick! How you ended up in this cage I wonder. You were lucky the dog master found you before you starved to death. 

\- I wanted to see what was inside and the gate fell behind me". Told the little boy with a contrite look. 

The brave woman looked tenderly upon the little boy. Poor kid, he was sleeping in the stable with the arl's dogs which he often kept the smell. He wasn’t a servant, didn’t really have a family, he was... just there. It was used in the kennel or the stable or sometimes for small shoppings or message missions to the village.

" Eat your cheese. I’ll tell the arlessa that I’m the one who asked you to do shopping for me. Besides, you’ve been in that cage all day, she might have been worried about you disappearing before. 

\- Oh ! The _dogs_ worried, but when they tried to warn people, no one understood." The boy had a small laugh, which died out when he added: "Unless they went to warn the arlessa. She would have left me here on purpose if she had known..." 

No doubt the arlessa did not carry Alistair in her heart and she did not hide it. On the other hand, the arl had a sincere affection for the boy who called him "Uncle", to the great damn of his wife. Many people at the castle thought that Alistair was the illegitimate son of the arl. And the behaviour of the arlessa towards him did not slow the rumors down. But looking at it, he did not looked like the arl at all. Anyway, the boy was so kind that he found few people not to appreciate him, despite his doubtful origins. 

"How can she despise such a cute little boy like you ? Said the cook, passing a hand in his hair.

\- Stop it ! You’re gonna ruin my hair ! 

\- Ruin your hair? she had a loud laugh. Oh my apologies, Your Majesty !" 

The boy chuckled."You're silly ! _Your Majesty_ is for kings. 

\- And you don't have crown hair, that's for sure ! Just hurry up and finish your cheese before Lady Isolde sends the whole castle after you !" 

**INSPIRATIONS** : 

Well, it would be a long story to tell but to make it short, let's say that my warden being a _ranger_ is realllly something to me. I just wish I could have that kind of abilities in real life (well maybe I _do_ have it, seeing how my cats always stick to me like leeches !). So I imagined it would be a "thing" she had since early age and that it shaped her life inside the clan somehow. Plus the story shows her early sneaky abilities - huhu !. 

The dialogs in elvish langage come from the wiki lists - [https://dragonage.fandom.com/wiki/Elven_language](https://www.blogger.com/u/1/#) / [https://thedasrevolutions.fandom.com/wiki/Dalish:_Lexicon](https://www.blogger.com/u/1/#). It's a short list of words and I assume they invent the words or sentences when they need to ; so I pick up what I can. There doesn't seems to be a strict grammar, so " _Tel'Enfanim_ " is a non official expression that I made by mixing " _Enfanim_ (or Enfenim)" = to fear and "Tel' " that seems to mean = don't/ not / no as in Tel'abelas ||Tel garas solasan ||Telanadas. Also I used the infinitive form of verbs as a conjugated form. **  
**

Concerning Alistair's part, to make it short, let just say that Alistair's love for cheese is reallllly something to me, cause I just do have the same bloody addiction (believe me : I've tried to turn vegan several times but sadly I smash my will everytime on the wall of cheese love...). So I imagined it would be a "thing" he had since early age : and just I came up with the idea of a generous lovely matron who would spoil him cheese. Like cheese would have the taste of a good memory for Alistair. And of course, I added the "minor obsession with the hair" in the balance ;-). 

It just stroke me when I replayed DAO for the zillionth times that when you meet some people from Redcliffe (Teagan, Ser Donall) if you have Alistair in your party : they will recognize him and be very happy to see him. So I just considered that Alistair was actually liked and known by _most_ of the people of the castle.

As for the story of the cage : it comes from one of Alistair's line if you have him in your party while going through Redcliffe's secret tunnel : "" _I locked myself in a cage, once, when I was a child. For an entire day. Ahh, good times._ "

And I suppose I don't have to explain the "king" and "crown hair" references; right ? ;-) 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The warden reveals an unexpected talent. Alistair meets his true father and brother for the 1st time

**9:18 DRAGON**

The gaze of the keeper was inscrutable. After a moment which seemed to Ymlaïs to last forever, she spoke in a neutral tone.  
  
"So you broke into my tent to steal a poultice from me. I don’t know if I should be admiring or angry. Why didn’t you come to me and ask me to give you one?"  
  
The little girl looked at the tip of her feet. "I didn’t dare. I know that the poultices are for the hunters. I was afraid you wouldn’t give me one. Or that you would tell the hunters to kill the fox.

The keeper raised an eyebrow.

\- Why would I do such a thing ? 

\- Because that is what hunters do ! They kill the animals ! 

\- Only the ones that we need to survive. _Vir Assan -_ the way of the arrow, does not ask us to kill blindly, Ymlaïs. Because it is bounded to _Vir Adahlen -_ the way of the forest: " _Receive the gifts of the hunt with mindfulness._ _Respect the sacrifice of my children._ _Know that your passing shall nourish them in turn_ ". Animals and us are part of the same balance. A good hunter never kills for no reason.

\- But three moons ago, our scouts said that they had seen hunters with horses and dogs pass by and they killed a lot of animals! And then we had to move the camp.

\- They were shemlens, Ymlaïs. Sometimes their lords have fun with death. They also consider that pieces of land belong to them and that they have every rights on them. We dalish people, know that life is precious and honour it wherever it is. The forest welcomes us, protects us and feeds us; it is our shelter and we must respect its inhabitants. 

\- Is that true ? 

\- Yes. We must kill to survive, as the wolf eats the doe and the fox eats the bird. But we must honour the life we take and be grateful for it. We don't kill to prove our skill or courage. _Vir Tanadhal_ is a way of wisdow, no impetuosity. Remember what the Hahren Païvel teaches you :how Ghilan'nain curses the impetuous hunter.

\- But young hunters kill to prove their courage and skill during their first hunt.

\- That’s true.You are insightful Ymlaïs.But what courage is there to kill a wounded animal ?"

The keeper left a silence to allow the words to permeate the child's heart.

\- So promise me not to steal anything in the future, Ymlaïs. If everyone helped themselves as you did, we would be dangerously depleting our resources. What would you have thought if to cure Ashalle I would have needed that poultice you took without telling me ? 

She crouched down and placed her hands on the child's shoulders, looking straight into her eyes. 

\- We are one Ymlaïs, we _must_ be able to trust each others. You understand ?"

The little girl nodded as tears of remorse rolled along her cheeks. Then she threw herself into the arms of the archivist, sobbing. Surprised but softened, Marethari accepted the embrace of the child and then made her retreat gently when she had calmed down.

\- So tell me, you like animals a lot, right ? 

\- Yes, I feel good when I'm with them. 

\- And they feel good when they are with you, is that so ? 

\- Sometimes yes. Not all of them. sometimes they are too scared, or angry, or hungry. 

\- You understand how they feel ? 

\- Yes... Somehow."

The keeper paused and thought for a moment. 

" Ashalle is right Ymlaïs : you can't spend your time into the forest amongst wild beasts. What about he hallas. Do you like them too ?"

The little girl’s face lit up:" Oh I love the hallas ! They are beautiful and majestic and they are always happy to see me!"

\- Why not spend more time with them then? 

\- I... I'd like too. If I could. 

The keeper had a amused smile.

\- Ashalle, Ymlaïs and I are going to pay a little visit to the hallas keeper. I think we just found him a new apprentice."

\---

The gaze of the arlessa was full of reproaches.  
  
"Where have you been? Can’t you answer when someone calls you?  
  
\- It is my fault, My Lady - interceded the cook as promised. I had asked Alistair to shop something for me in the village. The King is visiting us tonight and I was short of flour to make my pies."

Isolde glared icely at the cook.

"Alistair is not your clerk as far as I know.  
  
\- N...No My Lady. I apologize.

\- As for you, - she turned her glaze at Alistair - your place is at the stables where Master Dennet asked for your help to take care of the horses of the King and his escort. Besides, you stink of wet dogs, I’d rather you be out of the castle when his Majesty arrives."

The cook clenched her teeth not to argue with her mistress. Why so much wickedness ? She was going to open her mouth to say something when a breathless valet burst into the room:" Lady Isolde, the King is here, the arl asked for your presence.

\- What? Already! Tell him I’m coming.Edlyn, get back to work.And you - she threw a disgustied look at Alistair - Go away."

"I am very sorry, My Lady, but your husband has also requested Alistair’s presence," said the embarassed valet.

During the ensuing silence, Alistair whitened and the arlessa seemed about to explode. But eventually she blew like a bull ready to charge, clenching her teeth. "Fine!". She turned on her heels and went out. Alistair followed her from a distance, keeping his head down. He tried to be as discreet as possible and to prevent his legs from turning back. 

In answer to the young boy’s questions, inspired by rumours about his parenting with Eamon, the Arl had ended up confessing to Alistair his royal origins, while making him promise to never talk about them. The only true royal descendant was Prince Cailan and was to remain so. So why this sudden meeting ? 

When they reached the great hall, Lady Isolde regained her countenance and went to greet the King with a great smile and a pleasant tone. She was always doing great efforts to make the fereldan nobility forget that she came from a country that had invaded theirs for years. So in front of the man who had precisely pushed the invader out of the country...

When Eamon saw Alistair, he asked him gently: "Ah, Alistair! Come here, boy. This is Prince Cailan."

Alistair approached shyly. In front of him stood a young man of great beauty. His long blond hairs were falling in a golden cascade on his shoulders. His posture betrayed his noble upbringing and great confidence. He was dressed in a shirt of precious but sturdy fabric, surmounted by a long sleeveless jacket in embroidered velvet that curved his silhouette with elegance. After his sojourn in the kennel's cage, Alistair’s simple clothes were dirty and wrinkled - so surely was his head - and he indeed smelled harshly of wet dog. He felt like a lame duck in front of a swan and found this introduction very humiliating. Swinging from foot to foot and with his head down he mumbled : "Greetings, your Highness." The completely ignoring Prince exclaimed "Oh swords!" and run to the armory.

Embarrassed and not knowing what to do, Alistair gazed at the King. He looked a lot like the Prince but older and with a beard. He too stood upright and at ease, but when he laid eyes on Alistair, the boy believed to be reading ... sadness, in the man’s gaze. It didn’t seem very funny to be king, the man didn’t seem very happy. He couldn’t tell himself that this man was his father. He didn’t know him, and would never know him, so what’s the point of crossing the world that separated them ?

Alistair had often dreamed of having a family: when he saw the other children playing with their brothers and sisters, when he saw a kid running into his mother’s arms after being hurt, or a father caressing his child’s head before going to work. But this austere man before him and this sublime young man were not a family to him, and never will be.

Maric didn’t say anything, but continued to lay his indecipherable gaze on the boy. Eamon seemed embarrassed. Alistair would have wanted to disappear at the bottom of a mouse hole. For once he was grateful to Lady Isolde for putting an end to this most embarrassing situation.

"Your Majesty, you must be harassed after such a long trip. We will be more comfortable in the large living room to chat.

\- Yes, of course, thank you, Isolde." The King seemed to come out of a dream. When he turned around, he seemed very tired. Isolde, who undertook to lead the king, glanced over her shoulder at Alistair and seemed to challenge him to follow them.

"That... Wasn't a good idea. I'm Sorry Alistair." said Eamon. 

A deaf rage invaded the young boy who felt deeply offended by the scene that had just taken place.Clenching his fists, he laid at Eamon a gaze that betrayed the anger he was trying to contain.

"Can I go now?". He simply said.

"Yes," answered Eamon sadly, "You can go."

Arriving in the attic where he slept above the kennel, Alistair took out from under his bench a small box in which was a pendant. It was an ancient amulet engraved with the symbol of Andraste that had belonged to his mother. When he felt bad, he took it out of hiding and tried to imagine that his mother would take him in his arms to console him. But today it didn’t work. 

The truth was that he had no family and would never have any. His mother was dead because of him, his father might as well have been for what it would change and he was a "threat" to his brother. Uncle Eamon had hosted him but his wife hated him openly. Was there somewhere in this world where he didn’t hurt people? Was there a place for him?  
He wasn't asking for much. Just a very small place to fit and someone to really love him.

He hid his head in his knees so that the dogs would not see him cry.

**INSPIRATIONS**

I'm in love with the dalish wisdom and way of living as described in the dalish origin introduction. It somehow reminds me of the "native people's" ways which are a great inspiration and guidance in my life. To me, Ymlaïs being a dalish had a lot of influence on the kind of hero and the person she will later be **.** I admit I might have an idealistic vision of it but I wanted to write about it anyhow. 

If you're not familiar with the dalish culture, check [this article](https://www.blogger.com/u/1/#) \- "Philosophy" part (around middle of the screen scrolling) to know about the different _Virs._

As for Alistair's part, the encounter with Cailan is briefly told by alistair to Wynne in the game's random banters. 

Obliviously the comparison between Alistair and Cailan is a refence to the "[Ugly duckling](https://www.blogger.com/u/1/#)" fairy tale, because I think it suits Alistair's ascension, especially if you choose to make him king. Although when I write " _It didn’t seem very funny to be king, the man didn’t seem very happy._ " it is meant to describe what future will be if Alistair is made king, for me.

Those two stories are really about two kids being "different" who had grown into two very different worlds. And also two different types of education : the _understanding_ one and the _punishing_ one ; a question that is very important for the mother I am. You might guess wich way I have chosen ;-).


End file.
